Before I was a mummy I had visions of what my children would be like. How they would be angelic and friendly, always happy and helpful and how they would never, EVER be seen having tantrums down the sweets aisle in Tesco over a lollipop.
But our expectations and reality don't always go hand in hand do they?!
Here are a few of the things I've said despite never really wanting to!
"Don't be rude"
Why is it when you are nearly back at the car after a reasonably successful food shop, with only the checkout between you and the trip home, does 'that' person have to be infront of you in the queue. You know the one, with huge, multi coloured hair, random piercings, a considerably large bum, a strange walk or something else that makes your child feel the need to comment REALLY LOUDLY. 'Earth please swallow me now' you wish as the person slowly turns round and you know your face has turned as crimson as a tomato - eeek! It's generally only the kids being curious but at the same time it can come across as rude to whoever may hear. 'Shhhh don't be rude' is what I would say as I quickly dash to the self service tills instead!
"Because I said so"
Sometimes the endless 'Why?' from the kids can send you a little bit loopey. When you have explained over and over the reasons why climbing a 40ft tree isn't a good idea or why they can't walk to school by themselves at the age of 5 'because I said so' has been my response. I don't like to use it, it really is a last resort when they won't give up or accept what I have told them. To be fair, now that they are older they don't ask 'why?' like a broken record anyway but if they do I like to be open and explain things as well as I possibly can. Sometimes whatever you say doesn't seem adequate enough to them though and they want more than blood from a stone!
"I'll leave you behind then"
You're running late due to a child needing the toilet/not eating their lunch/being unenthusiastic to move from watching their most favourite ever episode of spongebob (delete as appropriate) and you just want to leave the house. School/the train/Gran is waiting, and there are schedules and deadlines for all sorts but there is someone slowing you down in your tracks. 'I'll leave you behind then' usually works up until the age of 4 that is, when they know that you wont and they respond with 'ok then' much to your dismay. Errrm that's not quite what you want to hear - you want them to speed up but the threat isn't genuine, you know it will never happen as much as they do!
"In a minute"
The kids are settled in bed after a soak in the tub with toys and endless bubbles, the book has been read and popped back onto the shelf. You have kissed them good night, got yourself a drink and the moment your bottom feels the soft fabric of the sofa...
'Mum, can you come here please?'
'What do you want?'
'Can you just come here please?'
'I need you.'
'For what? I've tucked you in and said goodnight. What do you need?'
'Can you come here please?'
Rarrrr you think to yourself. I used to go up and see what they needed so desperately straight away but it was usually 'can you pass my drink?' which is less than an arms width away anyway. I began to feel like a puppet doing as they wanted due to their laziness, like they were taking advantage of my kind nature. Now I reply with 'in a minute' by which time they are usually asleep or they will call again if they really do need me.
Have you said these things or similar to your children?
Are there other phrases you don't like to use but have?