06 March 2014

OCD and Me

I don't generally share information on a a really personal level via my blog but as OCD is often seen as a bit of a taboo subject, with many thinking those that have it are a little crazy or quirky, I wanted to air my experiences. It's something I've 'suffered' with for around 8 years now, the majority of my friends and family are fully aware that I have it, I have no intention of hiding the fact, and I am very open about it. I was even on the radio during 2013 discussing how it affects my day to day life which hopefully helped a few listeners at least.





I have developed the attitude over time that it's a part of who I am and if people don't accept me for that I'm better off without them in my life. Initially I felt ashamed and tried to be as discreet as possible while others were around but it made it near impossible to leave the house, really increased my anxiety, and many close friendships were destroyed by this. 

Being honest with myself and others has helped endlessly.

I wrote a poem about OCD recently which others may be able to connect with

Sea of numbers,
Head overwhelmed,
Counting figures,
Going down.

Scrubbing, scratching,
Bleeding free,
Suffocation,
Inside of me.

List making,
Never-ending chores,
Flipping Switches,
Checking Doors.

Frustration,
Step navigation,
Unwanted infatuation
Leave me be.

I'm lucky in a certain way that I feel in control at the moment with the condition whereas there have been times it has definitely ruled over me.  I used to count items going into and out of the washing machine, wash my hands repeatedly until they bled and spend hours at night checking the house was secure before eventually dropping off to sleep. Whereas now I routinely check appliances and switches and that's as far as it goes. It does worsen with stress so I try to remain positive and cool headed.

If you think someone you know has OCD do not ridicule them for their checks, counting, cleaning etc. This can have a really negative impact and make those suffering feel abnormal - when it is actually quite a common condition. Be supportive and understanding.

If you suffer and feel that it is affecting your every day life, seek help. 
My condition began after a car crash whilst pregnant with Jamster , I developed issues with safety and security, and I received CBT which did make me see things in a new, and more positive, light.



You are not alone.




5 comments :

  1. Great poem, it really gives an insight into how things are for you. #Prose4T

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  2. Fantastic poem and great post. So many people can related but we dont hear it out loud. So people make assumption or aren't understanding. So proud of you for sharing and letting people know. It makes it easier to help and be understanding when we open up to our family and friends. Lovely poem. I have OCD but more on a superficial level. Pillows have to be in the right place, beds made, no dishes in the sink etc. I think we all have some form of it. So glad you are happy and looking at it positive as in the way of don't get stressed and it doesn't get worse. Good for you hun. #prose4thought

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  3. A great post brave and honest well done you x

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  4. I think it's brave of you to be so honest about this even though, as you know, you are far from alone. I think your poem gives a really good insight into what you live with. #prose4T

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  5. Emma this is fantastic, so well-written. I have to say that I have had mild OCD about certain things over the years and I can see how it can be a problem. Thank you so much for sharing it with Prose for Thought xx (Love the new look blog by the way :)

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