The Funny Things Kids Say - Grumpy Grown Ups

Life isn't always sunshine and lollipops and there are sometimes moments when you may wake up on the wrong side of bed and be a little short or snappy with loved ones. It could be because you're unwell, tired, hormonal, stressed or just due to the fact you aren't a morning person and you require large quantities of caffeine before you're able to function fully! The Mr was a little miserable the other day and the Mini Mes soon picked up on this...

 

 

 

Minxy: "He's so grumpy isn't he mum!"

 

Me: "Everyone gets grumpy sometimes, I'm sure things will be back to normal soon."

 

Minxy: "You should dump him in a bin and try eHarmony.com if he carries on, but make sure it's after the holiday and once he has done the food shopping. I really want some crumbed ham."

 

 

...God help her future boyfriends!

 

 

 

 

Furbys, iPads and Pooh - Family Funny

Jamster is at the age where anything even slightly disgusting makes his eyes light up and sets him off in fits of laughter. He will pop up from anywhere at anytime shouting "pull my finger" but thankfully I've fallen for that once before to know I should avoid doing so again! 

He is obsessed with Horrid Henry and his gruesome tales and he likes to play practical jokes on his big sister, as little brothers do. He loves slime, Toxic magazine and generally just being a little crude but we certainly love him for it and it definitely makes us all laugh too at times.

He has been connecting his Furby to the iPad since he got it at Christmas and apart from feeding it and playing games with it, he has recently discovered that he can make it *ahem* visit the toilet.

He burst into my bedroom to share this revelation while I was putting some washing away...

Compliments from Kids

Fast approaching my 30's I don't tend to receive that many compliments anymore, so the ones I do get generally leave me in denial or make me feel amazing for days!

The Mini Mes are little angels when it comes to making me feel special, it comes naturally to them, but I'm not quite sure they have completely grasped the concept of compliments just yet.


While heading out of the door for the morning school run...

Jamster: Ooo you smell lovely today mum.
Me: Aww thank you, that's very kind.
Jamster: That perfume you wore yesterday stunk.


When collecting the Mini Mes after school in my new winter footwear...

Minxy: Witwoo mum! 
Me: Thank you, do you like them?
Minxy: Those boots make you look really tall and skinny like a huge giant.


Errm, thanks, I think!

Do your kids 'compliment' you?

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Guy Fawkes and X-Ray Glasses

We had planned to go to the local bonfire and fireworks display at the weekend but as the weather was horrendous we decided to stay at home in the warm instead. We started discussing where bonfire night originated from when Minxy piped up...

"It was just that bloke with gun powder"

That sums it up then!

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On the odd occasion when I may need a quick hand with something I'll ask the Mini Mes for assistance - It's only usually something small like some washing being taken upstairs, or a fresh tea towel being fetched.
I had a few Halloween items I wanted putting on the landing ready to go back into the attic so I called out to the kids who were watching a movie.

Me: Can someone do me a favour please?
Minxy: Are you going to pay me?

If only I was paid for every chore I did!

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Minxy and Jamster are big fans of secret agent and spy films (especially Johnny English) so they can often be found wearing hoodies and wandering around with badges and walkie talkies in hand!
Minxy appeared in the lounge the other morning with sun glasses on...

Me: Those aren't X-Ray glasses are they? *pretend to cover myself*
Minxy: Ewwww no, that would just be nasty to see you in your bra!

Not everyone would agree I'll have you know!

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I'm always summoned when busy, I swear they wait until I'm sat relaxing or in the middle of cooking before making a request, isn't that always the way? While slicing chicken for dinner Minxy approached me...

Minxy: Can I have a hug?
Me: In just a sec Minxy, I'll finish doing this and then I'll be with you. Have a hug with Jamster for a min.
Minxy: I would rather lick a toilet!

Aww sibling love.

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Have you had any funny conversations this week?

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Half Term Humour

Half term has begun and with the stormy weather we haven't been inclined to venture out that far... bar to the shops for cake supplies, obviously.

The Mini Mes are little movie buffs like myself and the Mr so they are happy to snuggle up with the Sky remote to see what films are on demand....



Minxy: Can we watch this one?
Me: The Full Monty? Not really, it's filled with nude men!
Minxy: Yea, I know. I thought you would like it mum. *Raises eyebrows and starts laughing*


Oh dear! ...Casper it is then.

Have your children had any random requests?



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Insulting Mum

If the kids aren't playing nicely or picking on one another I am their victim.
I'll admit that I'm quite daft and lack common sense at times but this seems to have made me their object of ridicule. The joy.

As the weather cools my back starts to play up from time to time, especially first thing in the morning.
I came down the stairs and into the lounge bent over slightly on Friday...

Jamster: Are you alright mum?
Me: Yes thanks, I've just got a sore back today.
Jamster: Have you hurt it? Or is it because you are just getting really old now?

Thanks son. I'm not a morning person as it is!

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When making the dinner at the weekend, with Minxy as my assistant, I needed to remove a tray from the cooker...

Me: Do you know where the oven gloves are, I can't see where I've put them.
Minxy: Have you tried looking over your shoulder?
Me: Oh yes, there they are!
Minxy: Can you see what I have to deal with! *Rolls eyes*

Cheers love! But I guess I was asking for that one.

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While watching the X-Factor I do get a little carried away when the singers that I like find attractive get through...

Me: Yessssss!!
Jamster: You only usually get that excited when you go to Ikea mum!

Well, I do LOVE Ikea!

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I also found this cheeky little note left on a Christmas catalogue of mine from Jamster...

It did make me giggle.


Do you get insulted by your children too?



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Attitude of a Pre-Teen

Love it or hate it, kids speak their minds.
They don't always think about what they are saying and sometimes have little care for others feelings.
This week I have seen some great examples of this, most of which have been rather amusing too...

Minxy decided she wanted to play cinemas so she picked a film, created her posters and tickets and announced that Jack the Giant Slayer would begin at 2pm sharp.
Jamster wanted to join in so asked if he could play

Minxy: "You can be on bin duty afterwards and tidy up. But that is it."

How kind!

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My car seems to have become a little untidy lately with an abundance of magazines and food wrappers in the back seats. I decided to grab a carrier bag to empty it out...

Minxy: "What are you doing mum?"
Me: "Just going to remove some of the junk from in the car quickly."
Minxy: "Well you will need more than just the one bag then won't you!"

It's wasn't that messy!
Well, perhaps it was.

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While discussing how quickly the year seemed to be going we soon moved on to the subject of things to look forward to during 2014.

Minxy: "Does Jamster really have to come to Kefalonia with us?"
Me: "Well yes, he is part of the family, don't be mean."
Minxy: "I'd rather have a vacation to heaven than go anywhere with that annoying brother!"

She has become such a diva!

Do you have a pre-teen drama queen? 

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Homework... with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Jamster has become slightly obsessed with those 4 heroes in a half shell and from the moment he rises to the second he conks out in bed he is talking turtles.

He came home from school on Friday with his usual reading, times tables and spellings to work through but also with his first homework sheet for the new school year.

We sat at the table, popped open his pencil case and starting working on the synonyms and noun replacement questions....


'The Cat watched the bird from behind the tree'
 became...
The dog watched the hamster from behind the cage


'The librarian put three books on the shelf'
became...
The man put three scooters on the path


and finally...

'The gardener picked up the plants from the garden'
became...
The turtles picked up the sword from the sewers.


I didn't expect him to involve his green friends with his school work but he managed it!

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The Funny Things Kids Say and Do... Doodles

The Mini Mes had a successful start to the academic year with them both settling in to their new classes well and liking their new teachers - woohoo! 

At the end of last week Jamster returned home with some of the artwork he had created during the first two days at school. He told me that he was allowed to draw whatever he wanted. 

So he drew a Kangaroo... 

A dog covered in spikes... 

And his friend stood on the toilet peering over into another cubicle...

Apparently this didn't actually happen (thankfully) but his friend is in fact a spy and this was his secret mission! 

I love his imagination. 

How have your children settled in at school? 

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The Funny Things Kids Say and Do... Woodlice and Harry Potter

Going through the Mini Mes school bags at the end of term I found pencil cases with half of the pens now missing, notebooks with doodles all over them and quite a few pieces of work that they had done during the year scrunched up into balls to bring home on the last day!

Having unfolded them for a peek into their lives behind the gates with their teachers, I found myself having a little giggle at some of the things they had written (and drawn!)...

Under this woodlouse picture Jamster had written;


Appearance: They look a bit like big ants, they have hard shells and big eyes.

Diet: Woodlice like to eat wood. That's where they got their name from. If they lived near the seaside their favourite food would be seaweed.

Habitat: They live in logs, stones and damp leaves.


I don't think David Attenborough needs to worry just yet!



I also found Jamster's thoughts on Harry Potter, but I think he may have recalled the movies slightly different

to how I remember...



When I entered the castle I had to make my breakfast myself and I had a hot chocolate.

When I was cooking in the kitchen I called Ron and I said "I'm making hot chocolates for all of you". When I touched the door it will open!

The next few weeks fly by.

Ron wanted to know where my pigeon was. I was already in my quidditch clothes ready to play quidditch but my quidditch broom was being wicked!

I'm back at Hogwarts where I nearly got killed in the quidditch game "Ron, do you think I can go back to the quidditch game?" Only time will tell!


Sounds like a movie box office hit, don't you think?!

What funny things has your little one created at school?

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The Funny Things Kids Say and Do... Crafts

I regularly get the craft boxes out for the Mini Mes to be creative, usually when the weather is miserable to keep them occupied, and we often attend free craft events over the summer at the local leisure centre and churches.

While away last week we went to Chatsworth House and as the rain poured down we made shelter in the barn where they too had some great craft activities to keep little ones busy, until the sun reappeared.

First of all the Mini Mes coloured and cut out some glasses which I think reminded them of the cute yellow Minions of Despicable Me that they are currently obsessed with!

They even had left handed scissors available there which was great for my little lefties.

Minxy then decided to pick up some small envelopes which contained the materials to make some whales, so her and Jamster (and the Mr!) got stuck in.

Her finished whale was really sweet....

Until she opened it up and showed me the heart, blood and guts she had added using the red tissue paper...

That combined with her facial expression made me giggle!
She is definitely creative.

What funny things has your little one made?

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...and I'm also entering it into the Cycle Addicts competition and nominating My Sidekick and Me plus Actually Mummy to enter too!

The Funny Things Kids Say and Do

BAM! Your child says something completely random and inappropriate leaving you with sweaty palms, blushed cheeks and feeling more than a little awkward. Don't you just love it when that happens, especially when surrounded by other parents in a near silent environment?!...
Me neither!

Queueing up at the entrance to the year 2 classrooms the other morning, patiently waiting for the door to open....



Jamster: Mum, you know those really horny people?
Me: Ermmm I'm not sure what you mean... *eyes wide in horror*
Jamster: You know! Those people that are reallyyyy horny.
Me: I can't say I do, no. Explain what you mean a bit more for me.
Jamster: Those red people that have horns on their head.
Me: Devils?
Jamster: Yes, that's what I meant! Can I be one for Halloween this year?




Phew!! Huge sigh of relief.
Halloween on his mind in July though, he is planning ahead!

What funny things have your little ones said this week?

The Funny Things Kids Say And Do

It's only recently that the Mini Mes have given a detailed response when I've asked 'what have you done today?' after picking them up from school. For years it was 'nothing' or 'I can't remember' leaving me wondering what they actually spend the 6 hours at school each day doing!

 

Last week when Minxy came out of class I asked her the usual question...

 

 

Minxy: We learnt about bees today in science.

Me: ooo really, what did you learn about them?

Minxy: Well, did you know that there are thousands of different types of bees?

Me: Which types did you learn about?

Minxy: Erm, honey bees.... I think there are bumble bees, normal bees and busy bees.

Me: Oh, okay then.

 

 

I think the ice cream van outside may have been a slight distraction!
 

What funny things have your little ones said this week?

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The Funny Things Kids Say and Do... The Dog Edition

It would appear that we have found ourselves a new dog. He is small and cute, about 7 years old, and very obedient (thankfully). He likes to play fetch and is very well behaved on and off the lead.

Minxy has really enjoyed playing with him this past week...

 

What funny things have your little ones done this week?

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The Funny Things Kids Say And Do

What a cracking week it has been for funny conversations with the kids...

 

Jamster: Can you smell that?
Me: No...
Jamster: No? I bet they can smell that poo in Norway!


Me: Is Megan's mum pregnant do you know?
Minxy: No, I don't think so. She just eats way too much.


Jamster: You know boys should never hit girls?
Me: Yes...
Jamster: Well, if I pretend to be a girl chicken or dog for a minute can I smack Minxy as she is irritating me?!


The Mr: Love you sexy (as he leaves to walk the dog)
Me: Love you
Minxy: That is soooo completely rank


Minxy: If you don't like me just sell me on eBay then

What funny things have your little ones said?

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The Funny Things Kids Say and Do...

The Mini Mes will often disappear upstairs together, bang about with musical instruments or dress up in different costumes before announcing that they have created a show and that I must drop everything to watch it, several times! Minxy in particular likes to be the boss and host the performance whereas Jamster just tends to, well, do as she tells him!

 

He does however have some strange talents....
 

 

  

 

 

Jamster is able to balance a spoon on both his nose and ears which is now his famous party trick. 

Minxy has attempted the same several times unsuccessfully so to take the attention away from Jamster she tends to;

 

• Knock the spoon off by blowing/poking it so it appears that he can't do the trick,
• Dance and prance around him, blocking him and being very loud so people can't see him or hear him,
• Get in a huff, say the show is cancelled and storm up to her room slamming the door behind her.

 

Nothing quite like a bit of sibling rivalry!

 

  

 

 

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The Funny Things Kids Say and Do...

Minxy visited the Royal Ballet in London at the end of last week with school and although she was very excited to be going and spent weeks counting down the days she wasn't that impressed...

 

Me: Did you have a good time?

Minxy: It was boring. I got told off for playing rock, paper scissors and talking.

 

 

I love her honesty!

 

 

She had written me a note on the smallest piece of paper while on the coach which she gave to me upon her return. One side said 'To mum, you're the best friend ever' and on the reverse it said...

 

 

Little suck up!


What has made you laugh this week?


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The Funny Things Kids Say and Do

I know when the Mini Mes are up to something as I can hear their giggles a mile away!

Luckily I saw the trainers that were placed above Jamster's door this morning before opening it.

He and Minxy have been playing little tricks on each other for a few weeks now and this is the latest idea - although I don't know how he manages to reach up there to line up his shoes, books and Moshi Monsters. I think he must use his cabin bed to his advantage on this one!



Some of our conversations from the week....



Minxy: I can't believe you remember my friends name mum, you haven't seen her in ages.
Me: It hasn't been that long Minxy.
Minxy: Well you are getting old now so I didn't think your memory would be working.

Thanks!!

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Jamster: Can we go and milk the lambs now please?
Me: We can feed the lambs milk if that's what you mean?
Jamster: Doh! I think I'm going crazy mum.

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What has made you laugh this week?


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The Funny Things Kids Say and Do...

What's so funny Jamster?

Apparently having your hair cut is! He has such a ticklish neck he was in fits of giggles while the (very patient) hairdresser trimmed his tresses which set Minxy and I off too!

The Mini Mes have made me laugh a few other times this week...


While sat on my lap watching Lady and the Tramp

Jamster: Sorry about that mum.
Me: What are you saying sorry about?
Jamster: I just accidently trumped on you.

Nice!

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Spartan started cleaning his bits, as a dog does

Minxy: Spartan! You will need a Polo now to freshen your breath.
*pulls face of absolute disgust*

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Jamster kept calling Minxy asking her to play with him

Minxy: If you keep annoying me I will have to press charges!


What has made you giggle this week?


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Kids know best... apparently. Plus vampires

Storm Force. The awesome water ride at Drayton Manor with 3 drops, including 1 backwards, will get you wet. Jamster however didn't appreciate this fact assuming it would only be a little splash and he wanted us all to go on it Sunday afternoon. He called us chickens and wandered about clucking so eventually we followed his instruction and went on, despite not being keen on the idea of getting drenched before we wanted to head to the zoo area!

He got off lightly but Minxy and I, sat behind him, were completely soaked through to our underwear and our trainers squelched for the remainder of the day.  However, he wasn't very pleased with drenched jeans, wet arms and a soggy back at all - maybe mum knows best after all!

...Notice his funny facial experience? Jamster is fully aware that as his top two teeth have recently fallen out he looks a little bit like a vampire! He is taking full advantage of this by posing in all of his photos with his mouth slightly open and hissing at people...

He would give Dracula a run for his money!

Have your little ones learnt the hard way?